Monkeys who masquerade as hens

You’ll remember Dr Michael Atkins BSc (Hons), MB BS, DPM, FFPM and a Fellow of the Royal Society of Medicine, and his wife Helen from our last issue – well, you loved his article so much that we’ve given him another slot! We’re sure you’ll enjoy a proper introduction to his feathered friends...

My name is Maj. I am THE BOSS but I do not peck others, just growl. The shed I live in is heated in the winter and fan cooled in the summer. The room service from Michael and Helen is pretty good and the sheds are magical – our night poo is gone by the next night. Must be the Poo Fairy.

Charlotte’s the name. At night, I live with Maj. I hang around with her and we get on just fine. She taught me how to growl. Nuff said.

I am Tulip. I am smaller and came with less feathers than the rest but I am feisty and can hold my own if challenged.

Helen and Michael call me “Floor aunts” (as in the French for Florence). I am not French but I had a rather gentile single tail feather when I arrived.

Daffodilly here. I live with “Floor Aunts”. I am tall and have very soft feathers. I like being picked up and loved ‘cos others sometimes pick on me.

I am Krackle and I am naughty (who isn’t?) I may gently peck others if they come near MY FOOD but I would never peck Maj (who would?).

Lilibet. “Floor aunts” may have ideas above her perch to become a henbassador but I am named after our dear Queen who Michael has met. He says, like her, I wear a crown and I am small, but I lay eggs.

Hi, I’m Poppy. I live with the little cockerel Dart Vader and Betty, who was the partner of the previous cockerel, Freddy Flintstone.

Here’s to our chicks The naughty and the nice.

On this, we’re not sure which is which They’re all the spice of life

The hens’ reply:

Helen and Michael look after us We like to peck their legs. They usually call us by our names But when pecked say “ouch” instead

This article is dedicated to our little chick Alice, who went to Wonderland.